POSTCARDS FROM THE DIRT
Chris Conrad
Words and photographs by Nicholas McDonough
It's remarkable how much time we can spend with someone without ever really scratching the surface. There's always so much more to a person than the part of their life we happen to share.
We spend countless hours working alongside them, sharing routines, conversations, and little moments. We take for granted what a small percentage our shared time really represents in their lives.
That's been something I’ve really enjoyed about Postcards from the Dirt. An opportunity to slow down, ask a few questions, and get to know the people who make up our little world backstage.
I was an absolute pleasure to sit down with Chris.
Meet Chris
Chris works Stage Left Props on Broadway's The Outsiders, moving and setting all the boards, tires, and props used throughout the production. His work helps keep the action running smoothly, making sure everything is in place at precisely the right moment. One of the many people who has my back out there every day.
Before joining The Outsiders, Chris spent most of his theater career working as a carpenter and on the fly rail. This production marks his first time working in props, adding a new chapter to more than three decades in theater.
From California to Broadway
MCDONOUGH: How did you get to this point? Are you from this area?
CONRAD: No, from Southern California. And worked my way up at a theater out there. It's the La Mirada Performing Arts Center.
MCDONOUGH: oh I just worked there.
CONRAD: Did you?
MCDONOUGH: Yeah, I just did Legally Blonde there - such a fun place to work.
CONRAD: I started there in 1990. Worked my way up, became the technical director out there through 2004. Left that, went on tour with Peter Pan for McCoy Rigby.
And I was Kathy's flying person. So I flew Kathy through the window. Which was great. And then at the end of that tour - that ended in 2006 - we moved out here, because we're like, well, let's give Broadway a shot.
My first Broadway show was Curtains, and again, I was flying David Hyde Pierce. That was fun.
And then stayed at the Hirschfeld pretty much all the way through Kinky Boots, through 2018.
Finding His Way Back
After years working on Broadway and touring Chris and Moira returned to California in 2018 to be closer to family.
CONRAD: And what's really funny is that moving back to California, the La Mirada technical director job became available again.
So I went back into that, and I sat down at the computer, looked through all the files, and 90% of the files were in the same exact place that I had left them, you know, 14 years prior. I'm like, you've gotta be kidding me.
And then Gabe called, the head carpenter at the Booth, and he said, "Hey, I need help, you know, on Kimberly Akimbo. And I don't trust anybody else."
Well, dude, there's over 3,500 Local One members. There's somebody in New York that can help you.
And he said, "I don't want anybody else."
I'm like, "Okay, fine. I'll come back out."
MCDONOUGH: So New York pulled you back.
CONRAD: Yeah. And then I get a call and Rob's like, "Hey, come on over. I'll need help on Outsiders."
And here we are.
MCDONOUGH: Did you have any knowledge of The Outsiders coming into it, or was it just kind of a call from Rob and you were like, let's see what happens?
CONRAD: I just knew the book, you know, from required reading in high school.
MCDONOUGH: So, did you have any impression that it would be such a big hit?
CONRAD: No. No. Because you never know until, you know, audience reactions, but... you can almost instantly tell from the music, you know, or just the feel of it. It's like, okay, this has something.
MCDONOUGH: Yeah.
CONRAD: This is something special. It's gonna have its time.
MCDONOUGH: For sure, which is great.
MCDONOUGH: Is a long run preferable?
CONRAD: It's preferred because at least you know that you have an income. You know that mortgage is going to be paid, you know, for that time.
At the same time, long runs, people can get burnt out.
MCDONOUGH: For your run with Kinky Boots, were you one of the few who were able to last the full eight years and keep your sanity, basically?
CONRAD: Oh, yeah, by far.
And I take it upon myself as my job to make sure the boss's job is as easy as possible.
Because he's got to be available to come out and deal with something in the house if something happens during the show.
day to day
I had the pleasure of following Chris around backstage and observing his track during a performance of The Outsiders.
Chris is responsible for setting the many, many boards and tires used throughout the show, bringing them out from the wings before each performance so we can use them during fight call. He also works alongside Spencer to bring props down from the overhead storage area stage left, setting everything in its proper place, including the lamp and various other pieces that make their way onstage throughout the night.
One of his responsibilities is also taking care of the car I get to drive onstage. Chris cleans it and makes sure the top is in just the right condition for us to dance, jump, and move around on it safely. He's always helpful and attentive, taking the time to make sure everything feels exactly the way we need it to feel safe up there.
It's one of those things that's easy to take for granted as a performer. So much of what allows us to do our jobs confidently is the care and attention of the people working just out of sight of the audience. If the wrong cleaning solvent is used on the roof of that car I could go tumbling off - I better not do anyting to piss him off eh?
He also taught me to clean my car windshield (or any glass surface) with spray and newspaper - keeps it from getting streaky!
Conrad: Yeah, that's my whole track and it pretty much comes down to moving tires for Spencer and uh catching a lamp for whatever, like you guys come off stage.
MCDONOUGH: Is there anything about your job that you think people would find interesting, but none of us would think to ask?
CONRAD: I think the most interesting thing about the job itself is where we are, 'cause so many people, you know, fight and do their damnedest to get to Broadway.
And we've been able to build a career on this for our lives, and so many people are in school, and it's just, we're so blessed to be here.
Life outside the Jacobs
MCDONOUGH: And your wife is in theater too?
CONRAD: She's a wardrobe supervisor. She's done so many shows, and yet we have yet to work one show together. Broadway.
MCDONOUGH: Really?
CONRAD: We toured together on Peter Pan.
In 2006, we moved out here because she got a job on Mary Poppins. And then I went back out on the road as head carpenter for the Camelot tour.
And the entire time we were out in California, for four and a half years, through COVID, even though the world was shut down, Moira and I couldn't really get work out there.
MCDONOUGH: Really?
CONRAD: So Moira applied at so many different places, and just got no calls or anything, or she was too overqualified for things. But we come back here, and she automatically gets Death Becomes Her.
So then... let's come back to New York.
MCDONOUGH: Going back to the universe, like, no, no, no, no, no. You belong here.
CONRAD: Exactly.
MCDONOUGH: So What does your life outside of work look like?
CONRAD: Uh, it's pretty boring, actually. We go from here to home, and we have three dogs, as you know.
We go to their house, you know, so we sleep in the big doghouse, and then we come back to work, for the most part.
MCDONOUGH: You've got three dogs?
CONRAD: Three dogs.
MCDONOUGH: What kind of dogs are they?
CONRAD: They're all mutts. Baxter is a Chihuahua-Chow Chow mix. So he's our Chihuahua. And he barks at everything that comes by.
He's the nine-year-old. He's got Cushing's, but nothing slows him down.
And then you've got Milo. He's five. He was a stray out in Riverside, California, out in the desert. A friend of ours found him. We were looking for a friend for Baxter.
And then Tish was ten months. We've had her for about a year and a half, and we got her from Lancaster, California.
Moira saw a picture of her, and she's like, "Something connected me with this dog, and we've got to save her. We've got to help her."
She was in a shelter. So we contacted friends that run a rescue out there, and they went and picked her up, and then they flew Tish out.
On to The Important Things
MCDONOUGH: Favorite NYC restaurant?
CONRAD: Theadora. Sadly, they closed.
MCDONOUGH: Favorite art form outside of theater
CONRAD: Fine art. Paintings and artwork.
MCDONOUGH: Favorite decade?
CONRAD: Late '60s, early '70s. That's what our house is. Just the way furniture was built, because I built a lot of furniture too, which is cool. most of the furniture in our house, I've built.
And on Kinky Boots, I had a lot of time to work down on the [unclear] and build shit. So, like, most of the furniture in our house, I've built.
But yeah, like, just the MCM era.
Just very cool.a
MCDONOUGH: Sandwich toothpicks: pro or con?
CONRAD: Depends on the height of the sandwich. You've got to hold it together somehow.
MCDONOUGH: Okay. Victor's staunchly against.he said, and I quote, "Con. Get your wood out of my sandwich."
CHRIS: [laughing] Splinters in sandwiches.
MCDONOUGH: Airport moving walkways? You know those flat escalators.
CONRAD: If it's empty, yeah, I'll take it. Because it is faster.
MCDONOUGH: Digital or analog clocks?
CONRAD: Analog.
MCDONOUGH: Backpack or shoulder bag?
CONRAD: Backpack.
MCDONOUGH: Gum or mints?
CONRAD: Mints
Whats Next?
MCDONOUGH: If you could design the next three to five years of your life with no limits, what would that kind of look like?
CONRAD: Would be for this to keep going.
MCDONOUGH: This particular show?
CONRAD: Yeah. I love the show. I love the cast. Even the changes in the cast, everybody's brought a renewed life into it, and it's a completely different feeling.
You know, it's fantastic. So, yeah, I would love to see this run longer.
And then eventually, my wife and I would love to get back to Scotland on vacation, 'cause she's Scottish, and we just want to get back.
MCDONOUGH: Maybe a chance to work with her on something?
CONRAD: That would be fun.
MCDONOUGH: Is retirement coming up?
CONRAD: Retirement, we will definitely be retiring to Scotland.
MCDONOUGH: Really?
CONRAD: Yeah.
MCDONOUGH: What'll that look like? Just a complete reset and start over? Or do you have people out there?
CONRAD: She still has family there.
We definitely want to be out there, not just for the National Health, because we know we'll get taken care of, but just to calm down.
From the busyness of the city, even though Hartsdale is super quiet compared to what Inwood was and definitely what Midtown is.
Just relax out there and then, you know, also, we would still love to run and operate our own puppy rescue.
MCDONOUGH: Oh, that's so cool.
CONRAD: Taking dogs and helping dogs.
For now, Chris is still here, eight shows a week thank god. Somewhere down the road, perhaps there's a quieter life waiting in Scotland, a house full of dogs, and a few more things to build.
I had a great time stepping into someone elses path through the Jacobs - I'm grateful to have had the chance to see the show from his perspective
Thank you all for being here and for your time. AND Thanks very much for the hang Chris. See you in Scotland in 10 years for a visit. Cant wait to tour the shelter.
